Tuesday, January 06, 2004

VENERATING MARRIAGE
Reports indicated that pop star Brittney Spears tied the knot this weekend to a childhood friend Jason Alexander at a marriage drive-thru in Las Vegas. Unhappy with the product, she demanded a refund (annulment) a few days later. Hours after tying the knot, she reportedly said, "Oh my god, what have I done?" She then hugged her new husband, telling him, "I'm so sorry. This was such a stupid idea. It's all my fault."

One newspaper noted But an unnamed source close to singer told the website that the wedding was a joke that went too far. [emphasis mine]

It's a good thing we don't let gays get hitched. We wouldn't want those fairies to desecrate the venerable institution of marriage held in such obvious reverence by heterosexual America. I mean, homosexuals might not take the commitments of marriage as seriously as heterosexuals like Spears and Alexander.

Why does straights-only marriage need a constitutional amendment when it has such upstanding advocates as Miss Spears, er Mrs. Alexander, er the artist formerly, and perhaps still, known as Brittney Spears?

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